I was reminiscing today about my old blogs, and how it had been such a long time since I’ve written one. Consequently, I decided that perhaps I should give it another try. As I may be a bit rusty, please simply bear with me while I empty out anything that’s remaining in my head after this last semester.

I once said something along the lines of how dogs have life easy, and that they really are smarter than we are cuz we take care of them. Granted, there is a lot of truth in that, but upon deeper mediation, I think I got this slightly wrong. The best life in the world, is the life of the goldfish. Of course, this life is much shorter, but are we talking quantity or quality here? That’s what I thought. First off, and this is the strongest argument I have, goldfish are perfectly happy swimming around in a bowl of their own filth. Have you ever heard one complain? I think not. Have you ever seen one look unhappy? I think not. (Well, in hindsight all fish look pretty unhappy, but I think that has more to do with genetics than disposition…regardless, I’ll rephrase the question.) Have you ever seen a fish look unusually unhappy? I think not. It’s an inner peace. A Chi if you will. Two things make a fish happy, food and air…and, um, water…okay, make that three. Still, that’s pretty good. Three things to a happy life? They don’t even care if they have a fish of the opposite sex in the tank…just more room for them. Which brings me to my next point. I’m not a fishologist, much as I’m not a whaleologist, but I’ve heard talk that goldfish tend to grow to fit the size of their environment. Now, this is a pretty badass talent. Honestly, how many of you wish you had the same ability? If people had that same talent, I would have raised my ceilings and bought clown shoes a long time ago. But beggars can’t be choosers, so I guess I’ll take thumbs (or in this case, any limbs at all) over being able to grow to my environment. Still though, it’s a good thought.

I have reached the final point in my argument for the worth of the life of a fish. Have any of you ever seen “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”? In this movie, Don Knotts, yes, the Don Knotts, falls into the water and becomes a fish. Did he complain? Hell no! He found himself a ladyfish. Not only that, but he developed a supersonic wave blast that came from his mouth that could be used to sink U-Boats. Not only was he a fish w/ a female, but he had superpowers and single-handedly ended WW II. Obladi, Oblada, Mr, Knotts…I salute you.

Keeping all of these points and factors in mind, the only logical conclusion is that fish are awesome. So, in conclusion, if you’re going to be a fish, be a big fish…with big teeth…or superpowers.