10 Things I Hate to Ingest....

So today I went to the allergist for the first time since I was two. For me, going to the allergist is like a trip to a candy store—there are just so many allergens to choose from. Well, the doctor chose 42 just for me. Not quite as many flavors as Baskin Robbins, but enough to get a taste for what kills me. They prick my back in numbered spots and let drops of different allergens get under my skin. Then they wait to see what happens. Basically, it is a toned down version of what Patrick has always wanted to do. And I had to pay for it. But anyways, I found NEW things that I get to be allergic to!! Isn’t that exciting? I knew that you all thought this was impossible, but I say “Ha!” I can be allergic to anything if I only put my mind to it. So besides peanuts, and every other kind of nut except Brazil Nuts for some reason (though he advised me not to try them), I continue to be allergic to eggs, cats, and dogs. Now the list gets more fun. I added birds, every kind of grass that can be grown under the sun, dust mites, and fish. Yes, fish. Those furry little fish. It’d be funnier if it was fish dander, but I’m not quite sure how you would make that. Apparently I developed this allergy quite recently (over the past two years of so), and it is now one of my most severe reactions. The doctor was surprised that I didn’t die in South Bend. Well this fish news was not kosher with me, so I asked him, “Hey Doc, isn’t it unusual to develop death allergies (technical term) at my age?” To which he answered,” Why yes; Yes, it is.” He was quite the conversationalist. So, guess where I’m going tomorrow? Can anyone say “Deep Sea Fishing!!!?” I figure I’m okay as long as a fish doesn’t bite me…then I may be in for some trouble. But, long story short, Patrick, you can now throw fish at me for comedic effect. Although somehow I doubt me being allergic to them would make you throwing a fish at me any funnier. I guess we’ll just have to see.