War Legal....haha....get it.....I am so funny.....where'd my life go?...
So, sadly, another life update. Too much thinking to make me write funny stuff. Law school has beaten the wit out of me. I think I've figured out the basic premise to master every class though. This is Spencer's Law School 101. Send me money and I'll make you a little diploma.
Criminal Law: If you're a criminal, you're in good shape, as legislatures are very bad at making laws. Even if they look like they get it right, the Supreme Court will bail you out. So go get 'em, tiger.
Torts: If something happens and you're within a square kilometer of it, you're liable. Trust me.
Contracts: Never sign anything. If you do, though, there are approximately 738 ways to get out of it.
Legal Research and Writing: Make every (Me v. Inner Dialogue, 34 F.2d 322, 414 (Wis. 2005)) sentence that you ( id. at 396) write as (Wisconsin v. Alabama, 34 A.2d 676, 423 (Mich. 1897)) short as you (Marcilliat v. Coghlan, 564 U.S. 453, 501 (1904)) can, but include ( Smith v. Bad Luck, 345 U.S. 456, 457 (2004)) as many citations ( id. at 459) as humanly possible, ( Auburn v. Gamecocks, 48 P.3d 321, 333).
So I just saved you like $21,000, roughly, and three years of your life.
Criminal Law: If you're a criminal, you're in good shape, as legislatures are very bad at making laws. Even if they look like they get it right, the Supreme Court will bail you out. So go get 'em, tiger.
Torts: If something happens and you're within a square kilometer of it, you're liable. Trust me.
Contracts: Never sign anything. If you do, though, there are approximately 738 ways to get out of it.
Legal Research and Writing: Make every (Me v. Inner Dialogue, 34 F.2d 322, 414 (Wis. 2005)) sentence that you ( id. at 396) write as (Wisconsin v. Alabama, 34 A.2d 676, 423 (Mich. 1897)) short as you (Marcilliat v. Coghlan, 564 U.S. 453, 501 (1904)) can, but include ( Smith v. Bad Luck, 345 U.S. 456, 457 (2004)) as many citations ( id. at 459) as humanly possible, ( Auburn v. Gamecocks, 48 P.3d 321, 333).
So I just saved you like $21,000, roughly, and three years of your life.
5 Comments:
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You're learning so much in law school! I love the citations, btw. :-)
You need a good hour, I mean OUTLET.
WOW! With all this new information I've just learned does that mean I can get a law degree now too. Or maybe I could go become a criminal because if I get caught Spencer knows all the ways to get me out of it. I like the citations too.
So, armed with your legalese and my knowledge of forensics, I can commit murder and get away with it! After all, now I know how to get rid of the evidence, and beat the rap in case there are any witnesses! -Sarah
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