Ahh….It feels good to be once again pondering the greater mysteries of life. I’m of course talking about how people miss the solutions to world problems when they are so easy. Honestly, if people had any common sense…Take this silly “war” with Iraq and Sadamm Huessien. “The USA needs oil…blah blah blah…not unarmed…yada yada yada.” People really over-analyze things. I have the solution right here.
Lions are ferocious. They eat babies…like dingoes except without the cool name. Nobody would ever like to come face to face with a real life lion. Imagine, you are crawling through the dense African jungle and suddenly you’re confronted by a lion….as it turns to pounce, you figure you are definitely dead, but then you realize…it’s no lion…it’s the Lion King….Simba!!! Now he’s all cute and cuddly and you just want to hold him and sqeeze him and play with him. I think you see where I’m going with this. Saddaam Huessien….animate him!! Nobody is scared of cartoons…and you could even get Disney to make a musical about him and Iraq. You could call it “The Ruthless Dictator’s New Groove”…you could even get Sir Elton John to do the sound track.
Speaking of Sir Elton, that leads me to phase two of the plan to end the war. Have you ever seen “The Road to El Dorado”? If you’re anyone other than the writer, odds are you haven’t. But my point is actually found within the music. Sir Elton had a song for this movie, including a music video in which he animated himself. Cameos on the Simpsons is one thing, but there is very little entertaining about a very flamboyant, animated man playing the piano. So we have two options: 1) Play Sir Elton’s video on a repeating loop throughout Baghdad, or 2) run the daily animated life of Sadaam Huessien throughout Baghdad. While this may cause a dramatic spike in oil usage as people flee the city, Baghdad will be ours for the taking. ..and all this without a single casualty. Aren’t cartoons great?
Lions are ferocious. They eat babies…like dingoes except without the cool name. Nobody would ever like to come face to face with a real life lion. Imagine, you are crawling through the dense African jungle and suddenly you’re confronted by a lion….as it turns to pounce, you figure you are definitely dead, but then you realize…it’s no lion…it’s the Lion King….Simba!!! Now he’s all cute and cuddly and you just want to hold him and sqeeze him and play with him. I think you see where I’m going with this. Saddaam Huessien….animate him!! Nobody is scared of cartoons…and you could even get Disney to make a musical about him and Iraq. You could call it “The Ruthless Dictator’s New Groove”…you could even get Sir Elton John to do the sound track.
Speaking of Sir Elton, that leads me to phase two of the plan to end the war. Have you ever seen “The Road to El Dorado”? If you’re anyone other than the writer, odds are you haven’t. But my point is actually found within the music. Sir Elton had a song for this movie, including a music video in which he animated himself. Cameos on the Simpsons is one thing, but there is very little entertaining about a very flamboyant, animated man playing the piano. So we have two options: 1) Play Sir Elton’s video on a repeating loop throughout Baghdad, or 2) run the daily animated life of Sadaam Huessien throughout Baghdad. While this may cause a dramatic spike in oil usage as people flee the city, Baghdad will be ours for the taking. ..and all this without a single casualty. Aren’t cartoons great?
