July 04, 2004

Well, this has been the most insanely boring 4th of July ever, as my family and friends have, for the most part, all deserted me. Oh well. Anyways, I've finished a book, explored the attic, destroyed my room, and was about 5 minutes from simply digging a large hole in my backyard because I can. In tearing my room apart, though, I found some old notes and things I had written in high school and what not, and I came across was can best be described as my first ever "blog" writing.

I figured it might be interesting to post my very first blog here, so I'm going to. Remember I was young, and believe it or not, this was submitted as a joke but was actually published in my high school's literary publication. Here ya go:

Do professional athletes deserve the absurd amount of money given to them by general managers? Of course not. Are fans paying the price? Definitely. As salaries skyrocket, ticket prices do too, and empty seats are beginning to be found in abundance. So what should be done? Should salaries be slashed to lower prices? Never. Rather, teams need to direct their focus to better entertaining the fans. For example, what, do you say, could possibly make major leage baseball more interesting? Two words--Robot Dogs. Each outfielder gets one robot dog. Each dog is equipped with a rocket pack and loud barking mechanism. One might think these dogs would rust, but no. All games are to be played in domes. While this may seem too expensive, it will benefit the sport in the long run. Stars like Andruw Jones, Mark McGuire, and Alex Rodriguez will be gone one day, but robot dogs will always remain. Baseball is not the only sport that will benefit from robot dogs. Imagine Kobe trying to break to the hole, only to be bitten ferociously by a robot dog. Imagine great match-ups like Randy Moss vs. a robot dog! It gets no better than this. The future has arrived, and robot dogs are taking control. Now Pro-hopefuls need to ask themselves, should I stay in school and get my degree, or should I turn pro and risk my life everyday playing against robot dogs? Not only will fans be entertained by the gratuitous violence, but a new generation of educated athletes will be produced out of fear of robot dogs. How can anyone go wrong with robot dogs? The answer is simple, my friends--you can't.