Read This Now, Before It's in Bad Taste....

US GOVERNMENT DEPORTS CUBAN EXILE

The United States Coast Guard intercepted a Cuban national attempting to reach US soil today. The exile, fleeing from the heavy-handed rule of dictator Fidel Castro, was hoping to make his new home in Florida, preferably on the Gulf Coast. He was hampered unfortunately by both cold water and eye-wall replacement, which slowed his progress to approximately 15 mph. He was apprehended offshore in the Gulf of Mexico and quickly sent back to Cuba.

The US Government has refused to release the name of the exile, referring to him only as “Dennis.” In an official release this afternoon, “Dennis” was labeled both as a “menace” and a “Category 4.”

Advocates of unrestricted immigration staged protests in Miami upon word that “Dennis” would be sent back. “How can they justify sending back such a warm being as Dennis? He’s only hurt 1 person.” While there may be some pulling of the heart-strings on this issue, few protesters were aware that Dennis was found to be in violation of the US trade embargo as well, trying to illegally bring in high winds and heavy rains.

OR…

GULF COAST PREPARES FOR CUBAN DIPLOMAT

In an attempt to better US-Cuban relations, dictator Fidel Castro has sent his finest diplomat to the Gulf Coast this weekend. He is expected to reach the shores of the mainland by Sunday afternoon and proceed on a whirlwind tour of the Southeast.

The diplomat, going only by the name “Dennis,” has caused quite a storm on the coast, as many have chosen to leave their homes rather than open their arms in welcome. Some have even taken to boarding up their windows with signs warning “Dennis” to keep his distance.

When reached for comment, Cuban officials describe “Dennis” as “a warm, lively being” and “a true ambassador of Cuba.”

“He is a real mover and a shaker. Likes to do things his way and keep everyone guessing,” says Cuban General Solarmo Gonzalez. “We sent him to the US, but there’s no telling where he’s going to end up.”

Castro himself could not resist praising “Dennis,” as “being able to show America what we really think of it.”

My First "Life Update"

You would think that after changing the title of my blog to include "Life Updates" that I would actually have a few life updates. Well...i haven't. My bad on that, really. I don't find my life incredibly interesting outside of what I post for the blog-viewing public. So, in short, I'm gonna go ahead and tell everyone what's up in my life, but this may be the last time for a long time b/c, let's be honest, we read to be entertained. If my blog is not entertaining, and life updates rarely are, then people will stop reading my blog, and that makes me sad. Plus, facebook now eliminates the need for blog-styled life updates.

So before I begin I have two things to comment on. First, on the business end, I have now updated my blog to allow readers to post comments. I have no one to blame except myself for this tragic oversight. Commenting is like voting. I realize you were all disenfranchised by my blog. I sincerely apologize and hope that you will all exercise your newfound rights. Secondly, I was bored at work (surprise surprise) and was reading collegehumor.com. One of the links at the bottom was to some kid's xanga post about his 2 hour experience with CutCo. I encourage you all to go read it, because I think it sucks compared to my little adventures. And yet, many people have commented on how "awesome" this guy is. I think he's retarded and writes like a high school freshman...but what do I know. Go to the site and read it yourself, read mine, and then compare. I feel ripped off, like that time in high school when Mackey-style invented Kiwi years before SNL even thought about it. But I digress...this is a life update, not a rant, right? Then on we go...

So I'm still working as a runner for an ad agency. It's kinda fun when I do stuff, but most of the time I sit around and do nothing. Decent money, though, so I certainly don't complain. As of now, I'm still going to Marquette, but there's a decent to good chance of my ending up at Notre Dame still. It's been an adventure with the whole wait-list thing at ND. First I get a letter saying you're on the wait-list, but we don't rank the wait-list. Then I get another letter saying "we ranked the wait-list and you're in group one." Now yesterday I got another letter saying, "Well, we think we might perhaps be able to maybe with a little luck let in most of the people in group one...possibly...but don't hold your breath." Why do they do this to us? I mean, seriously...i get it...I'm gonna be lucky if I get in....long story short, Notre Dame's a tease. We'll see if it comes through.

So in that vein, I have a delimma as to what to do if I do get into ND. It is a top-twenty law school, has Division-I football (and basketball), and it's NOTRE DAME...prestigue factor. It's also much more expensive and does not come with a scholarship. On the other hand, Marquette is a good school with the program I want (Sports Law). So in the long run, which helps me more--having the program or the name recognition of Notre Dame? Well as of now, as Cy says, "It's a mute point." So I'm interested to hear what people think, but honestly, I want to know more about the comparision of summer job stories. Call it pride, if you want, but I prefer to think of it as having very high standards for the style of blogging that I call my own.

So that's pretty much the update. Nothing else huge is going down except Mike left town. Now it's me, Bcobb, and Mags. It's kinda sad, really. The JVC crew is next and then it's my turn. I guess I'm ready for it. Only time will tell. Peace out.